Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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