She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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