You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
