It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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