I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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