id be glad to
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
