Just mADE A PArabola og urine
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
