I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
