just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
