that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
