That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize