Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
