I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
