we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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