Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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