I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
