I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize