i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
