I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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