I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
