if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
