I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
