im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
