Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
