Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
