not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize