i barfeds in our rink
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
