I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
