the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
