Are we in a gay sports bar?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
and she was petting her beer can
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
