I want to make a zoo with you.
i barfeds in our rink
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
