Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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