love makes seman taste better
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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