And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
