I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I need a beard to bite.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
