I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
