Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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