Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize