So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize