i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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