We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
