Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
