And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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