My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
