We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
the raccoons are back...
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