:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
