I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
