Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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