My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
