Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
