Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
