Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize