wakey wakey hands off snakey
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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