He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
