I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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