you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
