when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
