Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
