batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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