When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Never underestimate the power of titties
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
