tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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