we have officially lost it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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