I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
