I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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