i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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